Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Dear Mrs. O'Connor: My Mother's Autobiography - June 1992

My mother always wanted to write and illustrate children's stories. In 1992, she started a writing course and a Mrs. O'Connor contacted her and must have asked, "tell me about yourself". My sister, Lisa, works at the same law firm as my mother did and found this on the computer.

  
June 16, 1992

#CR49872

Dear Mrs. O'Connor:

         It was a pleasant surprise to read your letter of introduction because I find we have common interests.
   
         My life has been a very interesting one.  I am the second of five children with a mother who was disciplinary yet loving.  Her basic teachings were the importance of family, love, honesty, charity, forgiveness, and most important, to be ourselves - don't follow the crowd.

        Even though I had plenty of love from family, I was not a happy child, due to being born an introvert.  Once I met and married my best friend, life changed completely.

         After high school, I went to Art School - Pratt Institute, School of Advertising Design.  Now I wish I had taken illustration instead, as that is what I like best.  Women were not accepted in Advertising Design in those years, so I never made a living at it, but the basic teachings were a great help to me.  I did earn quite a bit doing the one thing I disliked the most - lettering of signs, certificates, invitations, etc.  My main employment has always been as a Secretary.

         My first job at 16 was becoming a lady butcher.  I was hired to count ration stamps in the meat department of the First National, as World War II had started, and rationing was the big thing.  As time went on, the head butcher (70 years old) taught me the basics of cutting, carving and chopping meat as well as cleaning fish.  He also taught me how to choose good, tender meat from the poorer, less tender cuts.  This, of course, has helped tremendously as a housewife and mother.  From then on, it was Secretarial work except for a brief time spent as an assistant at a Veterinary Hospital.  I love animals, especially dogs, so it was an enjoyable occupation.

         I was married in 1951 and raised three children, a boy and two girls.  When our son was one year old we moved into a four-family house, first floor.  We recall the fourteen years at this house as the home of happiest memories.  When our son and most of the neighborhood children were around four or five, our home was where they all congregated.  My husband and I both worked but when we got home at night and on weekends the house was always full of children.

         I could write a whole book about our experience with these children.  My husband and I spent many hours playing with them, and as they grew, talking with them and giving advice when asked.  Their parents couldn't understand how we could put up with all those children, but we felt they were missing all the fun and enjoyment of raising their children.  After both of my daughters were born it was even more fun.  I spent many hours making birthday party favors, Halloween masks and outfits.  The masks were made of wire which was covered with the same material as the costumes - dogs, cats, pumpkins, witches, etc.  I also made a lot of the children's clothing, including coats and hats, and each Christmas all the dolls would be washed, hair combed, and new outfits made for each of them.  My son's little cars were painted each time they became a little scratched.  He did not like to see them messy.  My husband also spent many hours repairing toys for the children, ours and the neighbors', as well as household and car repairs.  The children were so used to his being able to fix everything, our daughter even thought he would be able to bring my son's pet squirrel back to life after it had died.  I could write an interesting and true story about this house on Elm Street and call it "The House That Cried."  Maybe I will get an opportunity to do this during my writing course.

         Now we are grandparents of 5 children ranging in age from 3-1/2 years to 20 years old.  I am presently living with a 3-l/2 and a 6 year old.  We are now Grandma and Grandpa to all the neighborhood children.

         My husband and I were both involved in Scouting.  He was a Scoutmaster of my son's troop for about 26 years, taking them camping, hiking, etc.  I was an Assistant Cadette Girl Scout Leader, my daughters also being involved in Scouting.  We were both Counselors in the Boy and Girl Scout religious Awards, Lectors at Sunday Mass and I was a Religious Education Teacher for about fifteen years.

         We were skin divers, scuba divers, horseback riders, do-it-yourselfers.  Most of our vacations were spent with the children camping and hiking.  Once in a while we would change to visits to museums or nature centers.  We did take the girls to Disney World once.  We rented a motor home -- what a way to travel, especially with children!  We even went on a 50-mile hike with my husband's Boy Scout Troop.  My son was out of Scouting by this time, but my two daughters and one of the girls from my Scout Troop went along.  We took a whole week for the trip.

         Outside of the trip we made to Disney World, I had never been too far from home -- Vermont and New Hampshire, New York and Washington had been my limits.  In 1986, however, I had my first airplane ride and our first vacation without children.  We went to Jamaica with two other couples.  What a wonderful experience!

         As far as employment is concerned, I am presently a Secretary with a law firm -- a job that has proven to be a lot more interesting than I had expected.  It sure gives you a lot of people to pray for.  I became a working mother out of necessity and when my son was three years old I went to work for Famous Artists Schools for six years, a job that I loved because art was my greatest love, except for my family, of course.  I left there when I became pregnant for my first daughter (9 years after my son, having lost a baby in between).  When my daughters were four and six years old I had to go back to work again and became an Import Secretary for Tea Importers in Westport, a job I held for l8 years.  My husband and I became Amway Distributors during this time.  I will be forever grateful to Amway because it changed my whole outlook on life.  I became much more of an extrovert and discovered that setbacks are only a means of learning.  Between Amway and my mother's expression "God never gives you more than you can handle," I became a changed woman.   The "survivor" instinct became quite prevalent.  Believe me, it has held me in good stead.  The last six years have been almost terrifying, but I'm still carrying on.

         As far as writing is concerned, the thought that maybe I could be a writer has been with me since I was l6 years old.  I have written a few things, basically for my own pleasure, which have been well received by those who read the material.  As each child became 18 years old I wrote him or her a letter expressing my feelings as their mother and pride in them as individuals.  They still have their letters and were quite impressed by them.  Maybe being a writer is just wishful thinking, but we will find out, won't we?  I have had such a full life, volumes can be written.  The children of today, though, are my main concern because I feel they have a tough road to travel.  If I can be a good influence on them, I will consider my life a success. 

         My likes in reading material are ones about nature, adventure, mysteries, human interest, comedy and biographies.  My favorite magazines are American and National Wildlife, Reader's Digest, The Catholic Digest and National Geographic.

         I would eventually like to illustrate my own books.  I have the ability but would have to brush up on today's methods of reproduction -- my education is a little outdated in this field.  I think one of the greatest things I learned in art school was to "see" the things I look at.  There is a big difference in looking and seeing.  I remember the thrill of "seeing" the things around me for the first time.  The grass was no longer just green, the sky just blue or the trees having gray or brown trunks with only shadowing changing their hues.   The world was full of colors I had never noticed before.  It was exhilarating.

         As the old saying goes, "We don't have much money, but we sure do have a lot of fun."

         I look forward to working with you on this writing course and hope I do not disappoint you or myself.
 
                                                                                                 Very truly yours,
                                                                                          

                                                                                                  Shirley A. Hector
 
 
I loved reading this and brings back so many wonderful memories. She was so right, we didn't have a lot of money but we sure did have a lot of fun.
 
Until next time,
Karen
 
 

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